Don't worry, I'm still alive.

It has been almost a year since I've written. A lot has changed in the last 10 months, much of which has to do with my last blog post. When I returned from Uganda last summer I was forever changed. My priorities, my thoughts, my work ethic, my empathy, my perspective, my finances, all of it. I couldn't help but be impacted by what I witnessed. So, before I get into what is going on in this cluttered head of mine now, here are just a few highlights from the year you missed.

*I quit my job! Eek! 

Although I was a fan of the Hawkeye state, I'm sure many of you are aware of the struggles I faced throughout my three years there. I was incredibly grateful for a start in the journalism field and know I learned a lot in a short amount of time. However, when the opportunity came to move closer to family and work for the local paper here, I couldn't pass it up. So, the Tuesday prior to Thanksgiving, I had my last day working as the editor of the Elgin Echo, Fayette Leader and Ossian Bee. I flew to California that afternoon to spend the holiday with my sister and her beautiful girls, and packed up my life the following week. 

*I said good-bye to the arctic.

I never thought when I moved seven hours north that leaving three years later would be so hard. I kind of became an emotional wreck when I was faced with telling some of the best friends I've ever had, good-bye. I have so many people who love and support me, and now I am slowly losing touch with many of them. I have only gone back to visit twice, both visits were much too short! I did get to see one of my favorite Iowa peeps (Kelly!) at a Jefferson City gas station as she passed through the area on a work trip. The crazy but amazing Jensen family let me crash their vacation on their way to Branson. I also got to play tour guide for Sharon and Ione when they stopped in town for a family funeral.

I miss so many things about my time in Iowa. I started typing some of them out, but really, there are too many moments to single out just a few. In short, I miss my sweet friends. The longer I'm here, the more I feel like I'm losing them. Because I lived in such a rural area, we really lived in community with one another. I don't think there was ever a weekend I spent alone, or a night I didn't have a house to visit for dinner. I know when I go back for a visit, there are too many people I want to see, which I would say is a huge blessing. 

*I moved home....like, home-home. 

After seven years living on my own, I moved back into my parent's house. I would like to say that I never thought I would do that, and it just goes to show that God's plan is sometimes greater (or worse? lol) than your own. No, but really, it has not been bad at all. I am loving saving money on rent, cable, electric, etc., and being able to see my family often. My belongings are spread throughout the house and garage, but Charlotte and I are surviving. 

Moving back to Jefferson City has been interesting. I still struggle with knowing my place. Everyone here already has their lives established, and it's hard to push my way back into their circles. 

I am also still searching for a church. Going to the church I grew up in was my default. But after a few months I started to explore other options, hoping to find somewhere that has more people my age. I've probably struggled the most with this. My little church in Elgin still has my heart. The people there really became my family and I just haven't found anywhere here that feels like that. I have high hopes though, and visited a new church this morning that seems promising. 

Part of my decision to move home involved my finances. As much as I would love to be in my own place, it just made sense. I am attempting to get a handle on my life, in order to continue going back to Uganda each year. The sacrifice, well worth it! 

*I started a new job!

I am currently working for the News Tribune. I am doing some reporting, mostly business stories, but am also designing pages. The page design was a new undertaking for me, and I am loving it. It is great to have a task at hand each night that can be completed and left at the end of each shift. I was so used to taking my work home with me, and now I only do some of that. I realized this weekend that I really have nothing to complain about with my job. What a blessing that is!

*I went back to AFRICA!! 

I cannot tell you how excited I was to return to Uganda in August. I plan to write all about it in my upcoming posts. I met some amazing new friends, and was able to continue relationships with many of the Ugandan people I met last year. I haven't really had a chance to process my trip, although I've been back for almost a month. I anticipate that will come with the strokes of my fingers. Writing has always been the best way for me to express my feelings, and this will be no exception. 

So, stay tuned! 

Reality and opportunity

        I wasn't ready to leave Uganda yet, but my exhaustion was okay with the departure. The long journey home seemed like a dream as I finally reached my apartment after nearly 48 hours of travel. I slept a lot the next couple of days and went into a mild depression. I was sad to be back in this extravagant atmosphere. I struggled with listening to my friends talk of vacations and "needs" that in my mind were definitely "wants."

For the first few days I lived in a dream world. Once I returned back to the office, reality set in that I was back to the same life I had left. I honestly felt like a stranger in my own home and office. I wanted to talk about my trip to anyone that would listen, to share the stories and heartaches of the children in the Teso region. Some asked about my trip; others didn't. Once I started talking, it was hard to know when to stop. I felt like people didn't care, but the truth is, most just don't understand. I didn't, either, until I saw it for myself. Pictures can't accurately share the experience, and even these writings don't do the hardships justice. 

I wanted to adjust back into this life, but not enough to get comfortable. I don't ever want to forget the faces or the landscape, or the singing. I don't want to spend money on useless things instead of giving it away to those who need it. I don't want to get back to the typical American Dream that says I should want more, need more, and have more. We've been duped. That's not the dream we should be dreaming. Saving lives, giving others the chance for an education⎯those are dreams worth dreaming. 

Even in this job I have struggled with the purpose I have. What difference does it make if people don't know about the next great event happening in northeast Iowa? Sorry if offend anyone, but this job should not rule my time and ultimately, my life. I am thankful for a job, for this job. Without it, I would not be able to give any money. It is hard, though, to remember that this is just a means to an end. I want to do something meaningful with my life. I want to make a difference.

The primary reason I went to Uganda was to meet the 10-year-old girl I've been sponsoring. Such a small contribution from my bank account each month is paying for her food, medical care, education, and overall well-being. Many people probably do this through similar organizations, without ever thinking about the face behind the transaction. Children's HopeChest, however, purposely encourages sponsors to visit their kids, in order to better understand the difference that $34 a month can make. In turn, they receive free advertising for their work, because not talking about the experience is just impossible. 

The great thing is, you don't have to go to Africa or any other country to make a difference. You can support these children through your finances. Many people have expressed their support for helping children right here in America. I am obviously not opposed to this! My heart is in Africa, and this is why. The difference between being poor in Africa and being poor in America is this; there are no food pantries or homeless shelters, there is no DHS, and there are not people nearly everywhere with money in their pockets. Out there, in the bush, in these villages, everyone is hurting. There are 2.7 million orphans in this small country. The life expectancy is only 53 years old, with a poverty ratio of 31 percent. Giving them a full stomach really is the best use of your money.  Another cool thing is that you aren't just paying for food, but a program that will help change their lives. 

From someone who has seen the difference it makes, I urge you to sponsor a child.  There are just over 50 children left within these two villages who need sponsors right now. Once these kids are sponsored, the team going in January will hopefully be able to add more to the program, making an even bigger difference in these small communities. 

Go to www.hopechest.org/community/bukedea/sponsor, or you can give a one-time, tax-deductible payment in a new campaign called "Change Their Story" focused around Christmas. I'll have more details available for those interested. Email me at jessicaduren@gmail.com.  

Sweet singing, jiggers and hope

Our welcome to Ogoloi was much quieter than to Bukedea. We soon learned why as we were led into the local church building that currently houses the Carepoint. We followed the singing children, ducking down to go through the door and into the dark, oversized hut. Handmade signs hung throughout the structure, welcoming us to the rural village. 

We sat in chairs as we were introduced to the children sitting on the floor in front of us. The sun shone through the building in gentle rays as we listened to Pastor Moses share the village's sad news. Two funerals were being held that morning due to malaria. When we expressed our sympathy to their village, Moses explained that premature deaths were common among their people. I felt such sympathy for these people as they battle such a preventable disease. The price for malaria medicine in Uganda is approximately $7. It is a sad reality when people die when such a small amount of money could save them. 

Despite the somber beginning, our time in Ogoloi was a joyful one. Several caretakers greeted us at the end of day one. Halfway through their song some of the children joined them, and then all of the children joined in, singing and dancing. We couldn't contain ourselves, as we all danced together in one big group. 

Since I didn't have a sponsored girl in this village, I devoted my time to any child that walked by, tickling them and smiling in their general direction.  I gained the affection of two little girls, Juliet and Rhoda. These two were just adorable, clinging to me for several hours out of the day. 

One of my favorite memories from the trip happened while just doing nothing. Without any agenda in mind, I was able to share a sweet moment with a group of six to eight young girls sitting inside the church. With two girls sitting on my lap and others gathered around close, we sang sweet songs of praise. 

As in Bukedea, there were joyful moments and heartbreaking ones. 

Ogoloi was unique in that it sits farther out into the bush. The village is not influenced by a city, and the overall atmosphere was just more simple. The huts were a little larger, but the children seemed less kept. 

One child in particular was at the center of our attention throughout the week. Thomas was a young boy with HIV who was brought into the program last December. His murky eyes, sweet smile, and curious attitude had one of us carting him around or taking his picture more often than not.

Our group learned of a young boy, John, who was found with jiggers in his legs and feet. These small parasites make their way into the skin, killing nerves and laying eggs that turn into worms. The only way to get them out is to dig through the skin, extracting them with a needle. When Julius found him, the jiggers were so bad the boy couldn't even walk. On top of that, he was also severely malnourished. The boy's father is mentally disturbed, and a drunk. He has chased the mother away and beats her when she returns to care for the children. 

This was another heartbreaking story that made me angry when I first heard it. The great thing is that when this boy was discovered, he was helped. He and his siblings are getting food through the Carepoint now and are much healthier. Julius took the time to dig out the jiggers and will receive the care needed to keep them from taking over his body again. 

In a world that is so hopeless, these children have found some refuge in a program that is funded by people they don't know. This program is meeting needs that would otherwise go unmet. I was, and still am, very proud to be a supporter of Children's HopeChest. 

After seeing the problems this world has to offer, I have felt much like a stranger in my own home.