Storms ripped through parts of Missouri again today. All of this severe weather is stressing me out and I'm not even in it! I've spent several hours searching through websites, watching videos and looking at pictures. I can't stop! Its like a train wreck, you want to look away, but you just can't. Not sure its good for me though, my emotions got the better of me today. I saw a posting that a tornado had touched down in Sedalia, Mo. For those of you who don't know, my hometown in not too far from there, close enough that its scary to think about! I proceeded to check into the weather at home, on my screen I saw 13 tornado warnings issued in just one hour for several parts of the state. That's when I lost it. There I was sitting at my desk just crying. I tried to stop several times thinking how weird I would look had a co-worker stumbled upon my office. (I don't have a door, so I couldn't really hide!)
I choked back my tears as I called my parent's house to make sure everything was o.k. I should have known better then to be too worried. My mom of course had my nieces huddled in the bathroom safe and sound. I could hear my niece Jillian ask for some batteries. She had previously said she needed to go potty, and my mom and I were confused on why she would need batteries for that. Not sure we ever got to the bottom of that one.
I later talked to my dad who had pulled over to find a safe place after being a little too-close-for-comfort to the effected area. He found his way to a church basement along with a group of people who had just attended a funeral. He proceeded to tell me how he had a good ole time hanging out with the older ladies joking about how they could have had a quilt made in the hour and a half they were hidden away.
After work I called my brother Jeremy. He hadn't responded to my text message asking if he was safe in a basement somewhere. He of course, was not. Working like a crazy person as usual. I tried to get across my disapproval of him continuing to work when the sirens are going off. He is one of those un-teachables.
My worry subsided though, as I realized that I am NOT in control. That is such a hard concept to get across to us women. The sound of my nieces voice, the ridiculous ramblings of my dad, and the attitude that is my brother, those are the great joys in life. Its weird to think that all my worries could be taken away by such simple things. Thankful am I that I am not in control, who knows where we'd be if I were. All I have to say about my emotional day is that God's totally got this. Who was I to doubt?
A few things I'm loving this week....
*Looking up baby names for a pregnant friend only to get some incredibly stupid comments. "Naomi? Imoan spelled backwards? Come on Jess!"
*Having an emotional breakdown for no reason. More than once I might add.
*Locating a wet spot on the concrete driveway thinking the 4-year-old got out the water hose, then finding out that was where he decided to go pee.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
My heart goes out
The devastation of it all. So far confimed at 116 dead and over 1,150 injured! I can't even fathom what this must feel like. I scanned the Joplin Globe's website, viewing comment after comment from people desperate to find their loved ones. I couldn't help but cry as I'm sure most others would. A mile wide tornado, more severe storms throughout today and the rest of this week. We spend so much time gathering stuff and in an instance it can all be wiped out. A reality check for what matters in life.Hug your family, friends and neighbors, thank God they are still here and that you are too. This is a great reminder that I can't be afraid to share my faith and let people know there is a God who loves them and wants to spend eternity with them. While I'm don't think I know anyone who has lost their life in the Joplin tornadoes, knowing people who live there alone is enough to really hit home. Praying for the victims and the workers. Trying to figure out what I can do to help! Sunday, May 22, 2011
We're still here. Now what?
It's the end of the world as we know it! (Or not.) Today was predicted to be the rapture. I don't know why people even try to predict that, considering the Bible says no one knows when it will come, not even the Son. "It will come like a thief in the night."
While I wasn't involved in many conversations about the rapture coming today, I was in a few, some with Christians, some without. It really got me thinking about how we should always be expecting the Lord to come back. We are supposed to be prepared. In Francis Chan's book Crazy Love, he talks of a lady, Grandma Clara, who while watching a play or movie or something says she wouldn't really like to be there if Jesus came back in that moment. What a crazy realization. We don't know when Jesus will come back, so we should never being anything we would be ashamed of just in case.
Tonight when the clock struck 6 p.m., I was chatting with good friends, celebrating an academic milestone for a kid in our church youth group. Although I wasn't praying, singing or reading my Bible, I think God would approve of my conversations and the joy I had in sharing time with his sons and daughters. In all things we can praise God. That is definitely something I need to be reminded of from time to time. So often I think we beat ourselves up about our lack of commitment to reading or praying. Yes, God does desire those things from us. However, he delights in our joy and gave us friends and family for a reason.
Aside from being reminded of that little tidbit today, I have also been challenged a lot lately with patience. I must have asked for patience somewhere along the line and now I'm really getting a lesson in it. I am continually being put in situations where those around me are joyful over things I want, things I desire. It is not a secret that I long to be married, that I long to have kids. In moving here I thought surely those things would quickly come my way. Instead, they have come to everyone else around me. A couple of weeks ago I counted 17 people that I know who are pregnant, a few days later I found out there were more. Wow! That is a lot of pregnant women!
While my heart rejoices for the new life and knows these men and women will make great parents, I hate myself for being jealous. I don't want to be that way. I am not jealous as in I want to take the opportunity away from those who have it, but just that I'm sad it isn't me yet. I know I have plenty of time. I know I will eventually find someone. I know I can be perfectly happy in this stage in my life. I know I should enjoy this time. I know all of the things so many people insist on telling me as if I haven't heard them before. I know. I know. I know.
I am not looking for sympathy, a condescending or empathetic look or comment here. I am simply sharing where I'm at. I can't continue to hide the fact that I feel this. I know God put these desires in my heart and I hope that someday soon he will allow me to experience them. If not, then I know he will give me new desires. In the mean time, I am just waiting....buried under a ton of laundry and a lot of dishes!
Keeping me going this week...
The sleeping pup next me who insists on putting her head on my keyboard
Playing Mafia with awesome friends
The thunder rumbling outside my window
Sitting out by the fire roasting smores
And knowing that although I didn't meet Jesus face to face today, I will eventually!
While I wasn't involved in many conversations about the rapture coming today, I was in a few, some with Christians, some without. It really got me thinking about how we should always be expecting the Lord to come back. We are supposed to be prepared. In Francis Chan's book Crazy Love, he talks of a lady, Grandma Clara, who while watching a play or movie or something says she wouldn't really like to be there if Jesus came back in that moment. What a crazy realization. We don't know when Jesus will come back, so we should never being anything we would be ashamed of just in case.
Tonight when the clock struck 6 p.m., I was chatting with good friends, celebrating an academic milestone for a kid in our church youth group. Although I wasn't praying, singing or reading my Bible, I think God would approve of my conversations and the joy I had in sharing time with his sons and daughters. In all things we can praise God. That is definitely something I need to be reminded of from time to time. So often I think we beat ourselves up about our lack of commitment to reading or praying. Yes, God does desire those things from us. However, he delights in our joy and gave us friends and family for a reason.
Aside from being reminded of that little tidbit today, I have also been challenged a lot lately with patience. I must have asked for patience somewhere along the line and now I'm really getting a lesson in it. I am continually being put in situations where those around me are joyful over things I want, things I desire. It is not a secret that I long to be married, that I long to have kids. In moving here I thought surely those things would quickly come my way. Instead, they have come to everyone else around me. A couple of weeks ago I counted 17 people that I know who are pregnant, a few days later I found out there were more. Wow! That is a lot of pregnant women!
While my heart rejoices for the new life and knows these men and women will make great parents, I hate myself for being jealous. I don't want to be that way. I am not jealous as in I want to take the opportunity away from those who have it, but just that I'm sad it isn't me yet. I know I have plenty of time. I know I will eventually find someone. I know I can be perfectly happy in this stage in my life. I know I should enjoy this time. I know all of the things so many people insist on telling me as if I haven't heard them before. I know. I know. I know.
I am not looking for sympathy, a condescending or empathetic look or comment here. I am simply sharing where I'm at. I can't continue to hide the fact that I feel this. I know God put these desires in my heart and I hope that someday soon he will allow me to experience them. If not, then I know he will give me new desires. In the mean time, I am just waiting....buried under a ton of laundry and a lot of dishes!
Keeping me going this week...
The sleeping pup next me who insists on putting her head on my keyboard
Playing Mafia with awesome friends
The thunder rumbling outside my window
Sitting out by the fire roasting smores
And knowing that although I didn't meet Jesus face to face today, I will eventually!
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