How do you know if you are where you are supposed to be? Not just geographically, but in all aspects of your life. From conception through birth, toddler years and beyond, there are all sorts of books that describe what should be happening when. At every stage of pregnancy a woman can read about how big her baby is, and what characteristics its developing. As kids grow, speech should come at a certain time, walking, learning colors and the alphabet. We know about growth and maturity too. But how are we supposed to know once we get passed all that?
I have been struggling a lot lately with this question. After you are done growing physically, once you graduate from high school, and even college, is what comes next what defines who you become? I sometimes wonder if I had chosen a different college, where would I be today. What about a different career path? Is this what God wants for me? Am I serving out his will for my life?
I hate that thought. God's will. I know his commandments are to love him, and to love others. I also believe he can outright tell you to pick up and move. He can say, "Jessica, you are moving to a tiny town in northeast Iowa." I know he can do that. I also believe, however, that sometimes we get too focused on waiting for God to tell us where to go. We can serve him no matter where on earth we live. I think for most people, God doesn't give a specific command on where to go.
So what do you do when you meet a crossroad? I know God can do a work in me here. I know he could do a work in me anywhere. So when given a choice, if God doesn't speak, do we just choose what we want?
What about when it comes to marriage? I am 24 years old, and surrounded by pregnant people and married couples. I have a few single friends, most of which I do not see or talk to on a regular basis. People always say God is always on time. That I can't mess up his plan. But do I believe that God has one specific person for me? I can't help but wonder if who we marry, depends at least partly on where we choose to spend our life. If I had gone to a different college, or moved to a different city to begin my career, would I be married by now? Or would things be the same?
While my desires to serve God and know where I belong continue to overwhelm my thoughts and emotions on a daily basis, I am desperately praying for direction and confirmation that God really does have this all planned perfectly. I know as the creator of the universe, he absolutely could, but with so many other things to worry about, is my marital status and job really something he has in hands, or is it something that I control. If I have not been directly told to stay single, or to marry a specific person, or to move here and take this job, then is he simply calling me to choose where I want to be, and follow his commandments in the mean time? Can I be in control of these things and it be his "will" for my life?
If I had the answers, I wouldn't have written this post. Hopefully God reveals some major answers, and stat! Hopefully I'm not the only who doesn't have it all figured out.
Keeping me sane when I'm not focused on confusion...
*Burger Barn with a large crowd
*Hearing a 2-year-old brag about the large poop that came out of her bottom (her words!)
*A great talk while burning a few calories with a good friend
*Finally!!!! seeing the lightning bugs make their debut for the summer!
