Thursday, December 23, 2010
Hello puppy!
I am not usually an animal person, but I got this cutie this past weekend. You can read about it in my latest column. http://www.newspapersoffayettecounty.com/articles/2010/12/22/news/opinion/doc4d1104288d020292385412.txt
Monday, December 20, 2010
Friendship at its best
The last two weeks have been a blur. Trying to keep my mind off certain things I have buried myself in work and after work activities. I am used to having more conversations than I have had lately, leaving me too much time to think, hence the need for distraction.
I saw a quote the other day that said, "if a friendship can cease to exist, then it wasn't a real friendship."
I don't know if I agree with that, but it definitely struck something in me. For each season of my life, elementary, middle school, high school, college, life after college before a big girl job, and now, my big girl job, I have made tons of friendships. Some still exist, some don't. But I look back on pretty much all of them with a smile. Even some that just ended without reason, I'm thankful for those people, for who they were during that time and for what they meant to me.
Its funny (and a little sad) how people fade in and out of your life. People I was great friends with just five years ago are rarely on my mind these days. There are even people I was great friends in college that I haven't seen or talked to since then. I am a firm believer that most things happen for a reason, whether we understand why or not. There are certain things that stick with you. I can recall a simple sentence said by a friend in college that replays through my mind at least once a month, as a reminder to keep my life in God's hands. The sentence wasn't an inspirational quote or Bible verse, but more a blow at the way my so called "Christian" life came across to her. It was a motivator in a sense to me, a challenge.
I say that to say I think people are there when they are supposed to be. Even if that girl and I were only friends so I could here that one sentence, and so it would remain in my mind. No one else in my life had those words for me, just her.
A good friendship of mine has recently digressed (by every fault of my own) and its made me a little more than sad. I hate how things change, (or don't in this case). Even though I didn't always feel like I was getting my opinion across or even trying to get my thoughts out, there is something therapeutic about talking to someone who you know won't judge you. Someone you know is going to listen because they need you as much as you need them. Someone who knows you well, and still likes to talk to you. Someone you trust, who trusts you as well. It was good to know I could pick up the phone and have all that history waiting on the end. With all the friends that I've had, only a few really know me, only a few have been there through thick and thin, watching all my faults and failures. It sounds silly when I say it like that. Shouldn't I want to get away from that? I guess not when you want real advice. I need someone who knows where I've been so they can give me thoughtful answers to life's most important questions. (Sorry, I'm getting a little over dramatic now.)
I don't really know what else to say about this other than this. I miss my friend. And although this seems like a ridiculous solution, what else were you to do?
I saw a quote the other day that said, "if a friendship can cease to exist, then it wasn't a real friendship."
I don't know if I agree with that, but it definitely struck something in me. For each season of my life, elementary, middle school, high school, college, life after college before a big girl job, and now, my big girl job, I have made tons of friendships. Some still exist, some don't. But I look back on pretty much all of them with a smile. Even some that just ended without reason, I'm thankful for those people, for who they were during that time and for what they meant to me.
Its funny (and a little sad) how people fade in and out of your life. People I was great friends with just five years ago are rarely on my mind these days. There are even people I was great friends in college that I haven't seen or talked to since then. I am a firm believer that most things happen for a reason, whether we understand why or not. There are certain things that stick with you. I can recall a simple sentence said by a friend in college that replays through my mind at least once a month, as a reminder to keep my life in God's hands. The sentence wasn't an inspirational quote or Bible verse, but more a blow at the way my so called "Christian" life came across to her. It was a motivator in a sense to me, a challenge.
I say that to say I think people are there when they are supposed to be. Even if that girl and I were only friends so I could here that one sentence, and so it would remain in my mind. No one else in my life had those words for me, just her.
A good friendship of mine has recently digressed (by every fault of my own) and its made me a little more than sad. I hate how things change, (or don't in this case). Even though I didn't always feel like I was getting my opinion across or even trying to get my thoughts out, there is something therapeutic about talking to someone who you know won't judge you. Someone you know is going to listen because they need you as much as you need them. Someone who knows you well, and still likes to talk to you. Someone you trust, who trusts you as well. It was good to know I could pick up the phone and have all that history waiting on the end. With all the friends that I've had, only a few really know me, only a few have been there through thick and thin, watching all my faults and failures. It sounds silly when I say it like that. Shouldn't I want to get away from that? I guess not when you want real advice. I need someone who knows where I've been so they can give me thoughtful answers to life's most important questions. (Sorry, I'm getting a little over dramatic now.)
I don't really know what else to say about this other than this. I miss my friend. And although this seems like a ridiculous solution, what else were you to do?
Friday, December 10, 2010
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Keeping it Simple
As I scan the pages of my favorite blogs I can't help but notice an overwhelming scheme of keeping it simple this year. I must admit that when it comes to decorating, I want to be the house that has a certain amount of whimsical charm and instant like ability. Having to design on a tight budget, that's not always easy. I find myself in and out of thrift stores and consignment shops often. I skim the clearance isles and after-holiday specials. Although I have not been as frugal in the past as I probably should have been, I too am making due with the holiday decorations I have.
I can't say that I'm a big decorator for holidays (I am a little lazy when it comes to taking them down so I don't always feel the need to put them up,) but I am always up for amazing ideas. I just don't ever seem to find the time to make any of them happen. In the latest issue of Family Circle, some cute Christmas decor is hand-crafted out of felt. Oh felt...how I thought we'd never meet again. My memories of felt date back to those awesome felt boards in Sunday School, you know the ones. There are only a few felt characters, one week the guy with the robe is Jesus, the next week he's Moses. We've come a long way folks.
Anyway, I never would have thought felt could be used for such cute little crafts and actually look good.
Check out just a couple at http://www.familycircle.com/family-fun/christmas/decorating/countdown-to-christmas/?page=1
My apartment feels a little more ready for the wintry weather with my little tree lit up and decorated with some simple ball ornaments from the last two years, bows from last year, and of course, candy canes, (don't worry, they aren't old.)
To add a little bling to my coffee table, I've switched out my usual hand-painted pottery tray for this thrift store silver platter ($5), a sweet smelling candle, my glass candy holder and my hour glass (thank you Kohls for this 50% piece earlier this year.) Add few ornaments and shiny Mardi Gra beads and you've got yourself something cute, simple and a little glitzy.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
When did that happen?
I went home last weekend for Thanksgiving and was really looking forward to it. When I'm here I miss my family and wish I was home, but when I'm home, I don't always feel like I belong there either. When did that happen? I can't say its every time I'm there, but this last weekend for sure. I'm more a guest visiting what used to be the place I laid my head. A weird concept to comprehend, and something I'm not sure I like. While fighting the feeling this past weekend I did have some good moments, moments that seemed to stand still and just let me soak them up.
All of my nieces and nephews usually show some sign of excitement when they first see me after a month or two of absence. The first encounter with my nephew Gideon plastered a smile across my face for the next few hours. He can be really loud, and should possibly be wearing a helmet on a daily basis, but when he's happy to see you, you sure know it. Later that day I saw more of my kiddos and like always, hugs and kisses were exchanged. Ava, the 3-year-old, always seems to break my heart somehow. She has a way of holding on so tight, and for so long, that it just makes me want to burst into tears. She's also the one who generally asks why I have to go back to Iowa and tells me she'll come along.
Throughout the weekend I saw the kids play pirates, soldiers, and secret agents. I got to hear my 7 year old niece read a new book to me. I was able to win the love of the youngest little one of the family, and trust me, that's not an easy task. I think my long beaded necklace helped me out a little with that one. She was fascinated with it most of the day. All of these moments stuck with me. Moments that seem to happen few and far between.
While I'm there, it seems right. But only when everyone is around. The reality that we've all grown up is too much to bear once the chaos stops and the house gets quiet. Its funny because I'm used to being alone, now that I live alone. Before I was always so used to a noisy house. But somehow I can't get used to that house, the one I grew up in, being quiet. I don't like the silence there.
I'm sure my mother won't like me saying this, but I'm starting to feel like my house, this little apartment behind the laundromat, is becoming more and more my home. I'm developing a homebody attitude, I know the messes here are mine. I know the hair in the shower drain is mine, all mine. I've decorated it. I have made this what it is. I never thought living alone would be my cup of tea, and have said before that women are not meant to live alone, but I'm doing o.k. I'm even enjoying it a little.
So here I am. Back in the comfort of my own home. I put up my Christmas tree today, probably the earliest that's ever happened for me. I thought about being a scrooge this year, but the weather today, (currently 22 degrees and flurrying) made me remember how depressing winter can be. If I have to endure the cold, I at least need a sparkly tree waiting for me inside. I'll enjoy my time here, and in about a week or so, I will be wishing for my childhood home again. Funny how things change, and on a weekly basis it seems.
All of my nieces and nephews usually show some sign of excitement when they first see me after a month or two of absence. The first encounter with my nephew Gideon plastered a smile across my face for the next few hours. He can be really loud, and should possibly be wearing a helmet on a daily basis, but when he's happy to see you, you sure know it. Later that day I saw more of my kiddos and like always, hugs and kisses were exchanged. Ava, the 3-year-old, always seems to break my heart somehow. She has a way of holding on so tight, and for so long, that it just makes me want to burst into tears. She's also the one who generally asks why I have to go back to Iowa and tells me she'll come along.
Throughout the weekend I saw the kids play pirates, soldiers, and secret agents. I got to hear my 7 year old niece read a new book to me. I was able to win the love of the youngest little one of the family, and trust me, that's not an easy task. I think my long beaded necklace helped me out a little with that one. She was fascinated with it most of the day. All of these moments stuck with me. Moments that seem to happen few and far between.
While I'm there, it seems right. But only when everyone is around. The reality that we've all grown up is too much to bear once the chaos stops and the house gets quiet. Its funny because I'm used to being alone, now that I live alone. Before I was always so used to a noisy house. But somehow I can't get used to that house, the one I grew up in, being quiet. I don't like the silence there.
I'm sure my mother won't like me saying this, but I'm starting to feel like my house, this little apartment behind the laundromat, is becoming more and more my home. I'm developing a homebody attitude, I know the messes here are mine. I know the hair in the shower drain is mine, all mine. I've decorated it. I have made this what it is. I never thought living alone would be my cup of tea, and have said before that women are not meant to live alone, but I'm doing o.k. I'm even enjoying it a little.
So here I am. Back in the comfort of my own home. I put up my Christmas tree today, probably the earliest that's ever happened for me. I thought about being a scrooge this year, but the weather today, (currently 22 degrees and flurrying) made me remember how depressing winter can be. If I have to endure the cold, I at least need a sparkly tree waiting for me inside. I'll enjoy my time here, and in about a week or so, I will be wishing for my childhood home again. Funny how things change, and on a weekly basis it seems.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
and that's what happened
I have neglected my blog lately. Not because I've been too busy, but because I've been lazy. Laziness never pays, as now, I have too many things that have happened to really talk about them all. So I'll give you a quick synopsis of the last couple of weeks....glee style. (that means you're supposed to read this quickly)
I was driving to go take pictures for work when I hit a deer with my car, and totaled it. I drove a purple minivan for the weekend and then I gave it back because I thought my insurance company was going to come. They waited five days and then told me I wasn't getting squat for my car, so then my dad and brother drove down (or up) last weekend to bring my little sister's car for me to drive for now. We went out to dinner and dad ate his first Gunder burger. (It's a whole pound of hamburger, but he acted like it was nothing.) Then this weekend I tried to find a new car but they're all way too expensive. I went to living stone and had a really great chat with my pebble (Angela Williams). Sunday I watched one of the high school's my papers cover perform The Wizard of Oz. It was really good and made me kind of sad that my high school only performed really dumb no-name plays. I once played a part called Echo Chambers where I had to echo the last word of every sentence. It was horrible. Anyway, we had a really great prayer service Sunday night and I got to spend some much-needed time in worship to an awesome Creator. Then I came home and a lovely little chat with a friend where I ended up feeling like I should probably just give up on certain endeavors, well one really, just one. And that's what you missed on me.
Now, for tonight's episode.(you can stop reading fast now)
I have too many things going on in my head to focus on one thing. For starters, I cannot believe next week is Thanksgiving. Where have my last few months gone? I'm really excited to go home, and even more excited to spend time with my family. I haven't seen my grandpa Duren since my grandma's funeral this summer. Her birthday is tomorrow. I've never really had anyone close to me die before. And although my grandma Rosa lived three hours away, and suffered from severe dementia the last ten or so years, it's still a tough thing. I am extra thankful this year for the loved ones I do have, this will be the first holiday we celebrate without granny.
Also this week I've been a little more emotional than usual. Moody too. I got my hair cut today, nothing extreme, but just enough for a much-needed confidence boost. (or at least the delusion of one)
As I watch the t.v. and almost every commercial points toward Christmas, I am once again reminded that money rules the season. I can't help but get a little bitter as I try to think of clever present ideas that won't break the bank. It's not easy going it alone. A lesson I'm learning over and over again, in way more ways than one.
I was driving to go take pictures for work when I hit a deer with my car, and totaled it. I drove a purple minivan for the weekend and then I gave it back because I thought my insurance company was going to come. They waited five days and then told me I wasn't getting squat for my car, so then my dad and brother drove down (or up) last weekend to bring my little sister's car for me to drive for now. We went out to dinner and dad ate his first Gunder burger. (It's a whole pound of hamburger, but he acted like it was nothing.) Then this weekend I tried to find a new car but they're all way too expensive. I went to living stone and had a really great chat with my pebble (Angela Williams). Sunday I watched one of the high school's my papers cover perform The Wizard of Oz. It was really good and made me kind of sad that my high school only performed really dumb no-name plays. I once played a part called Echo Chambers where I had to echo the last word of every sentence. It was horrible. Anyway, we had a really great prayer service Sunday night and I got to spend some much-needed time in worship to an awesome Creator. Then I came home and a lovely little chat with a friend where I ended up feeling like I should probably just give up on certain endeavors, well one really, just one. And that's what you missed on me.
Now, for tonight's episode.(you can stop reading fast now)
I have too many things going on in my head to focus on one thing. For starters, I cannot believe next week is Thanksgiving. Where have my last few months gone? I'm really excited to go home, and even more excited to spend time with my family. I haven't seen my grandpa Duren since my grandma's funeral this summer. Her birthday is tomorrow. I've never really had anyone close to me die before. And although my grandma Rosa lived three hours away, and suffered from severe dementia the last ten or so years, it's still a tough thing. I am extra thankful this year for the loved ones I do have, this will be the first holiday we celebrate without granny.
Also this week I've been a little more emotional than usual. Moody too. I got my hair cut today, nothing extreme, but just enough for a much-needed confidence boost. (or at least the delusion of one)
As I watch the t.v. and almost every commercial points toward Christmas, I am once again reminded that money rules the season. I can't help but get a little bitter as I try to think of clever present ideas that won't break the bank. It's not easy going it alone. A lesson I'm learning over and over again, in way more ways than one.
Friday, October 29, 2010
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
a breakthrough...or perhaps just a reminder of one.
So last night I did something I never really thought I would do. I put on my big girl panties and went to eat out at a restaurant, totally and completely alone. Yes, I know...you wouldn't think this was a big deal, but let me just tell you, I have fought the idea for a long time.
In college it was socially acceptable to eat in the dining hall alone, that is of course, if it wasn't an every day occurrence, or you brought note cards or homework along. And even then, I would avoid doing it most of the time. I can recall skipping lunch or grabbing a pb&j from my room, just to avoid the awkward silence of sitting alone.
Now that I live alone, I eat alone, a lot. Most of the time I have the TV on or am connecting with others through email or Facebook. I have gone so far as to just order out, even when I know the food would be much better eaten fresh at the table and that I have no one to rush home to.
So last night I did it. I had craving for something spicy and a Mexican restaurant I hadn't tried yet. After calling several people and receiving the negative, I knew it was the night. So I went. I was the only person in the whole place. I sat and read my book and ate my food. I sat there alone for an hour. Then I paid, got in my car and came home. Nothing eventful on the outside, but a major breakthrough was brewing on the inside. Although I lived through it, I don't ever want to have to do that again. I wasn't traveling, I didn't just move here, and I wasn't waiting for someone to meet me. I was just there, with no one to share my meal with.
It was actually kind of funny. I opened up my book, "Eat, Pray, Love" to find the chapter all about how depression and loneliness had once again found our main character. Even in the midst of beautiful, romantic and passionate Italy, she was faced with these haunting visitors. I am by no means depressed, and not really that lonely, but in that instance, I was. These last few weeks have been a big reminder of that. Three of my friends celebrated one and two year anniversaries, one got married, and one had her first baby.
When others are celebrating the joy of togetherness you are quickly reminded that your stuck sharing your life with no one. Sometimes I wonder how long it will be. I catch myself wanting to put a time limit on it, and then stopping myself just so God doesn't spite me by making it longer. I know that I am complete in God and do not need a man to fulfill me. But what if I want one? Is that so bad?
I am what I would call the opposite of a feminist. I am grateful for the rights we have and all, but I still want that chivalrous handsome prince to come rescue me from this miserable loneliness that is my life. Can I still get that or have we completely shut the idea down?
I know its not going to be like the emotional love porn we've been brainwashed into believing from all the romantic comedies. But I'd like to think the story will be great, at least in my mind. (Does anyone else have friends who've fallen for people that you are a little questionable about? Or they tell you a story of how "cute" the person is, and your thinking,...what's cute about that?) The right guy will be great to me and he really will be my "other half", of that I am confident. So hurry up prince charming....I'm waiting. (oh, and my eggs are dying. lol.)
In college it was socially acceptable to eat in the dining hall alone, that is of course, if it wasn't an every day occurrence, or you brought note cards or homework along. And even then, I would avoid doing it most of the time. I can recall skipping lunch or grabbing a pb&j from my room, just to avoid the awkward silence of sitting alone.
Now that I live alone, I eat alone, a lot. Most of the time I have the TV on or am connecting with others through email or Facebook. I have gone so far as to just order out, even when I know the food would be much better eaten fresh at the table and that I have no one to rush home to.
So last night I did it. I had craving for something spicy and a Mexican restaurant I hadn't tried yet. After calling several people and receiving the negative, I knew it was the night. So I went. I was the only person in the whole place. I sat and read my book and ate my food. I sat there alone for an hour. Then I paid, got in my car and came home. Nothing eventful on the outside, but a major breakthrough was brewing on the inside. Although I lived through it, I don't ever want to have to do that again. I wasn't traveling, I didn't just move here, and I wasn't waiting for someone to meet me. I was just there, with no one to share my meal with.
It was actually kind of funny. I opened up my book, "Eat, Pray, Love" to find the chapter all about how depression and loneliness had once again found our main character. Even in the midst of beautiful, romantic and passionate Italy, she was faced with these haunting visitors. I am by no means depressed, and not really that lonely, but in that instance, I was. These last few weeks have been a big reminder of that. Three of my friends celebrated one and two year anniversaries, one got married, and one had her first baby.
When others are celebrating the joy of togetherness you are quickly reminded that your stuck sharing your life with no one. Sometimes I wonder how long it will be. I catch myself wanting to put a time limit on it, and then stopping myself just so God doesn't spite me by making it longer. I know that I am complete in God and do not need a man to fulfill me. But what if I want one? Is that so bad?
I am what I would call the opposite of a feminist. I am grateful for the rights we have and all, but I still want that chivalrous handsome prince to come rescue me from this miserable loneliness that is my life. Can I still get that or have we completely shut the idea down?
I know its not going to be like the emotional love porn we've been brainwashed into believing from all the romantic comedies. But I'd like to think the story will be great, at least in my mind. (Does anyone else have friends who've fallen for people that you are a little questionable about? Or they tell you a story of how "cute" the person is, and your thinking,...what's cute about that?) The right guy will be great to me and he really will be my "other half", of that I am confident. So hurry up prince charming....I'm waiting. (oh, and my eggs are dying. lol.)
Friday, October 8, 2010
And the saga continues...
I like to think of my life as a saga. An ongoing roller coaster of emotions and ridiculousness. Several friends know exactly what I mean, I usually refer to a certain scenario in my life as "the saga." A scenario and aspect I will not go into on the internet, as I'm never really sure who is actually reading.
The saga I am referring to tonight is the one of ever changing hopes. Just when I think I get a break, or know what I should do and where I should be, the tides change, leaving me with mixed emotions and even more confused than when it all began.
Now that the beans have been spilled on the front page of the paper I work for this week, I can tell the world....my bosses sold our newspaper. At first, this seemed kind of o.k. I didn't know what would happen but I was willing to give it a shot. Last week was a tornado of assignments, extra duties and complete confusion in our office, as our bosses signed over the business just two days after telling us of the sale. And just like that, they were gone. The new bosses, who happen to have been our competing newspaper, came in and gave us all a nice little pep talk about change. I understood the lip service we were receiving, as they didn't know much more than we did at that point. We just had to get this week's paper out. That was the goal. We met the goal, sending pages just 30 minutes shy of the expected time. And so, the craziness started over. Once again, we have rushed through to get the next paper out. Last week seemed to creep by, almost as if time stood still, and yet, I still managed to work way over what I should have because there weren't enough hours in the day. This week has been but a blink in my eye, and here I am on a Friday night, still having two stories to write. I meant to stay and finish one before leaving the office today, but my eyes couldn't take another minute of reading.
My mind is on overload as I try to keep my head above water. I am literally drowning in little pieces of scrap paper I have dubbed reminders and to-do lists. A co-worker commented that I needed a bigger desk as she laid yet another piece of paper to my pile. I have joked that I don't get paid enough to stress out. I am by nature a worry wart, as I have previously shared, but I am also by nature a laid back, low-stress kind of gal. A friend recently said I am missing half of the emotions I am meant to have. I cry, but lack anger. I worry, but lack stress. I would say I rarely get so stressed that I have a melt down, but these past weeks are certainly wearing on me.
So tonight, instead of finishing a story or checking emails, I am laying on my love seat, feet propped up, lights off, candles lit, just relaxing. I caught up on Glee and have thoroughly stalked everyone of interest on Facebook. I am now thinking about getting a large bowl of ice cream to finish off the night. For now, tonight, I am putting the saga on hold. I will not think about the things in my life that I so desperately need to figure out. I don't even have to think about my laundry, as I did two loads last night, thanks to some great friends who suggested I bring it over instead of paying for it!
Some things that have gotten me through the week alive:
-my first pampered chef check
-rushing to a combine fire in the middle of a field with my nice work clothes on
-having the awana cubbies pray for my sore back (that in itself is a whole other story)
-seeing the rule maker become the rule breaker,
-and having a much-needed chat with a few of my college friends. (it's awesome to complain when we are equally as crabby about life)
For those who suffer with priorities being shifted to the wrong spot, I offer this verse, as I hope it helps me to remember who is ultimately the one who deserves my attention through this crazy transition.
"Those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs." Jonah 2:8
The saga I am referring to tonight is the one of ever changing hopes. Just when I think I get a break, or know what I should do and where I should be, the tides change, leaving me with mixed emotions and even more confused than when it all began.
Now that the beans have been spilled on the front page of the paper I work for this week, I can tell the world....my bosses sold our newspaper. At first, this seemed kind of o.k. I didn't know what would happen but I was willing to give it a shot. Last week was a tornado of assignments, extra duties and complete confusion in our office, as our bosses signed over the business just two days after telling us of the sale. And just like that, they were gone. The new bosses, who happen to have been our competing newspaper, came in and gave us all a nice little pep talk about change. I understood the lip service we were receiving, as they didn't know much more than we did at that point. We just had to get this week's paper out. That was the goal. We met the goal, sending pages just 30 minutes shy of the expected time. And so, the craziness started over. Once again, we have rushed through to get the next paper out. Last week seemed to creep by, almost as if time stood still, and yet, I still managed to work way over what I should have because there weren't enough hours in the day. This week has been but a blink in my eye, and here I am on a Friday night, still having two stories to write. I meant to stay and finish one before leaving the office today, but my eyes couldn't take another minute of reading.
My mind is on overload as I try to keep my head above water. I am literally drowning in little pieces of scrap paper I have dubbed reminders and to-do lists. A co-worker commented that I needed a bigger desk as she laid yet another piece of paper to my pile. I have joked that I don't get paid enough to stress out. I am by nature a worry wart, as I have previously shared, but I am also by nature a laid back, low-stress kind of gal. A friend recently said I am missing half of the emotions I am meant to have. I cry, but lack anger. I worry, but lack stress. I would say I rarely get so stressed that I have a melt down, but these past weeks are certainly wearing on me.
So tonight, instead of finishing a story or checking emails, I am laying on my love seat, feet propped up, lights off, candles lit, just relaxing. I caught up on Glee and have thoroughly stalked everyone of interest on Facebook. I am now thinking about getting a large bowl of ice cream to finish off the night. For now, tonight, I am putting the saga on hold. I will not think about the things in my life that I so desperately need to figure out. I don't even have to think about my laundry, as I did two loads last night, thanks to some great friends who suggested I bring it over instead of paying for it!
Some things that have gotten me through the week alive:
-my first pampered chef check
-rushing to a combine fire in the middle of a field with my nice work clothes on
-having the awana cubbies pray for my sore back (that in itself is a whole other story)
-seeing the rule maker become the rule breaker,
-and having a much-needed chat with a few of my college friends. (it's awesome to complain when we are equally as crabby about life)
For those who suffer with priorities being shifted to the wrong spot, I offer this verse, as I hope it helps me to remember who is ultimately the one who deserves my attention through this crazy transition.
"Those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs." Jonah 2:8
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Anxiety say what?
Usually I fall asleep on Monday nights spouting off the list of things I need to remember for Tuesday morning. With Monday night meetings almost every week, I find myself forming my lead as I nod off. Then as I wake up, I continue the list and refresh my memory on where my story needs to end up and sort of bullet the highlights as I drag my butt out of bed. This morning was no different.
Waking up slightly later than anticipated, I did as I always do, shut off the three alarms, lay there for another five or so minutes until I am down to the wire. Turn on the hair straightener, then the light, go to the bathroom and brush my teeth. I usually take a break in my thought process to decide what to wear, and go right back to the work mentality. Since we go to print on Tuesday mornings, an extra stressful few hours always await. Today, again, was no different.
As the day panned out, several events made my head spin with uncertainty. My last post mentioned how I thought maybe I was just supposed to stay here for a while longer. Since that post last week, I have questioned that more than ever. The more days that go by, the more I pray for direction. I cannot go into detail of what has made me question my life here in northeast Iowa, but I can say that I have never thought so much in one day.
Being a sort of worry wart, I can honestly say today was not filled with worry, as I know what that looks like, but rather of thoughtful thinking. (If that makes any sense.) Playing scenarios of good and bad over and over, trying to pin point the best reaction. What would be the best-case scenario, and the worst? What would I do in regards to friends, family, church, bills, debts, overall happiness? To stay or not to stay, that is the question. I literally had to take a nap to stop thinking this afternoon.
And so without much detail, I ask for prayers for guidance, for opening and closing doors, and courage to not worry what the future will bring. I am excited, scared, nervous, confused, hopeful and sad, all at the same time. How do you balance that? I know how I do, I cry, as I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve most of the time. But today, the tears did not come until just a few minutes before I began writing this. It took me all day to stew over the options before the thoughts became too much and finally connected with my emotions. I will wait for answers and for questions to clear. Until then, life will go on and my laundry will continue to pile up.
To keep me living and laughing through the craziness....a few things I'm loving this week:
Discovering strawberry jelly can go moldy.
Tuesday afternoon naps.
Holding on to a hope that drives you crazy on a daily basis.
Being connected with great music through a friend who is apparently trying to and I quote, "wean me from the country music." Check out free downloads by searching Happy Birthday Denison Whitmer.
Emptying the piggy bank to buy a loaf of bread.
Watching my nieces "oreo commercial" over and over again.
And not knowing what tomorrow will bring.
"Come to me all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls." Matthew 11:28-29.
Waking up slightly later than anticipated, I did as I always do, shut off the three alarms, lay there for another five or so minutes until I am down to the wire. Turn on the hair straightener, then the light, go to the bathroom and brush my teeth. I usually take a break in my thought process to decide what to wear, and go right back to the work mentality. Since we go to print on Tuesday mornings, an extra stressful few hours always await. Today, again, was no different.
As the day panned out, several events made my head spin with uncertainty. My last post mentioned how I thought maybe I was just supposed to stay here for a while longer. Since that post last week, I have questioned that more than ever. The more days that go by, the more I pray for direction. I cannot go into detail of what has made me question my life here in northeast Iowa, but I can say that I have never thought so much in one day.
Being a sort of worry wart, I can honestly say today was not filled with worry, as I know what that looks like, but rather of thoughtful thinking. (If that makes any sense.) Playing scenarios of good and bad over and over, trying to pin point the best reaction. What would be the best-case scenario, and the worst? What would I do in regards to friends, family, church, bills, debts, overall happiness? To stay or not to stay, that is the question. I literally had to take a nap to stop thinking this afternoon.
And so without much detail, I ask for prayers for guidance, for opening and closing doors, and courage to not worry what the future will bring. I am excited, scared, nervous, confused, hopeful and sad, all at the same time. How do you balance that? I know how I do, I cry, as I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve most of the time. But today, the tears did not come until just a few minutes before I began writing this. It took me all day to stew over the options before the thoughts became too much and finally connected with my emotions. I will wait for answers and for questions to clear. Until then, life will go on and my laundry will continue to pile up.
To keep me living and laughing through the craziness....a few things I'm loving this week:
Discovering strawberry jelly can go moldy.
Tuesday afternoon naps.
Holding on to a hope that drives you crazy on a daily basis.
Being connected with great music through a friend who is apparently trying to and I quote, "wean me from the country music." Check out free downloads by searching Happy Birthday Denison Whitmer.
Emptying the piggy bank to buy a loaf of bread.
Watching my nieces "oreo commercial" over and over again.
And not knowing what tomorrow will bring.
"Come to me all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls." Matthew 11:28-29.
Friday, September 24, 2010
It's a crazy life
These last few weeks have just been a complete whirlwind. So many things have happened, most of them completely unimportant, but nonetheless eventful. I feel as though I have been go, go, going non stop for so long, that I was eventually going to crash. Well, when events for this weekend didn't play out like I thought, I was slightly disappointed, but all together relieved. Instead of the breakdown, I can unwind and reboot.
Just to give you a glimpse into this past week, I have worked every day, (that's normal), covered a 3 hour and 40 minute city council meeting, did my second pampered chef show that was an over an hour away, took my first guitar lesson, helped at our awana fair (where a guy from my church ended the evening with a heart attack), went to my first choir practice, took on double my responsibilities as the other news reporter at work quit without notice, by email no less, and spent some time with one of our youth girls. To wind down the week, I spent the evening gathered around a campfire enjoying the warmth against the crisp fall breeze.
I cannot tell you how glad I am this week is over. I feel like I haven't even had time to think these last few days. I haven't processed all that has happened, I haven't returned phone calls or even email from friends who I am desperate to talk to. I have not kept up any of my usual readings, and maybe worst of all... I missed the season premiere of Glee. Eek! (Don't worry, I watched it on hulu earlier this evening.) Needing a minute to myself is kind of an understatement so as for now, I am cuddled up on my love seat with an amaretto sour watching the food network. The perfect ending to a crazy week.
Although I often long for a companion, it is week's like this that I realize I am probably right where God wants me, for now. I have spent almost the whole last year wondering how long I have to stay in these fields of opportunities as they are called. When I think it's my time to leave, something happens that tells me to quit getting any big ideas. But what if that's not what God is telling me? What if he's just trying to tell me that my idea of a big idea, needs to change? What if my big ideas need to involve this community, and this group of friends he has placed me in? Instead of dreading my days, I have admittedly begun to enjoy them. Now that's not an everyday occasion, but recently its more often than not. I am so thankful for the people that God has put in my life. They are taking great care of me in Idaho (o.k., I'm actually in Iowa, but a few of you might get that joke.)
Basically what I'm saying is although I have had some crazy days, I still think it's absolutely crazy that I have already worn my winter gloves in September, and that people call all sorts of cookies "bars" and sloppy joes, maidrites, I am warming up to the heartland of America. Now if only they could get some nice single Christian men, then maybe I'd start planning for the long term. Until then...yep, you guessed it, life and laundry, oh so much laundry.
And as for the guy with the heart attack...things are not looking good. So please keep Jon Schaer and his family in your prayers.
Just to give you a glimpse into this past week, I have worked every day, (that's normal), covered a 3 hour and 40 minute city council meeting, did my second pampered chef show that was an over an hour away, took my first guitar lesson, helped at our awana fair (where a guy from my church ended the evening with a heart attack), went to my first choir practice, took on double my responsibilities as the other news reporter at work quit without notice, by email no less, and spent some time with one of our youth girls. To wind down the week, I spent the evening gathered around a campfire enjoying the warmth against the crisp fall breeze.
I cannot tell you how glad I am this week is over. I feel like I haven't even had time to think these last few days. I haven't processed all that has happened, I haven't returned phone calls or even email from friends who I am desperate to talk to. I have not kept up any of my usual readings, and maybe worst of all... I missed the season premiere of Glee. Eek! (Don't worry, I watched it on hulu earlier this evening.) Needing a minute to myself is kind of an understatement so as for now, I am cuddled up on my love seat with an amaretto sour watching the food network. The perfect ending to a crazy week.
Although I often long for a companion, it is week's like this that I realize I am probably right where God wants me, for now. I have spent almost the whole last year wondering how long I have to stay in these fields of opportunities as they are called. When I think it's my time to leave, something happens that tells me to quit getting any big ideas. But what if that's not what God is telling me? What if he's just trying to tell me that my idea of a big idea, needs to change? What if my big ideas need to involve this community, and this group of friends he has placed me in? Instead of dreading my days, I have admittedly begun to enjoy them. Now that's not an everyday occasion, but recently its more often than not. I am so thankful for the people that God has put in my life. They are taking great care of me in Idaho (o.k., I'm actually in Iowa, but a few of you might get that joke.)
Basically what I'm saying is although I have had some crazy days, I still think it's absolutely crazy that I have already worn my winter gloves in September, and that people call all sorts of cookies "bars" and sloppy joes, maidrites, I am warming up to the heartland of America. Now if only they could get some nice single Christian men, then maybe I'd start planning for the long term. Until then...yep, you guessed it, life and laundry, oh so much laundry.
And as for the guy with the heart attack...things are not looking good. So please keep Jon Schaer and his family in your prayers.
Friday, September 17, 2010
busy life
So lately I have been oh so busy. I haven't spent an evening at home for almost two weeks, thus I have not written. I do find comfort in knowing my busy schedule means I have a life, or so it appears. I find myself on a Friday night, by myself, at home. And you know what, I am so o.k. with that. After the week I've had, I am loving doing nothing, curling up on the couch watching Golden Girls. Yes, you read that right. I can't help but love those crazy old ladies.
Anyway, this week was quite the adventure. I held my first pampered chef show, my grand opening, on Tuesday night. It was pretty stressful and I did not do as well as I hoped. I fumbled over words and couldn't for the life of me remember what some of the tools were called. Needless to say, I will be practicing a little more before my next show.
Also this week, Cubbies. I was nicknamed Ms. Crazy by one of the kids. I guess he forgot my name or something. I'll take that though.
I feel like I've been running around like a chicken with my head cut off lately. I did however, enjoy an awesome weekend at home last week. I took my nieces lunch at school, the same elementary I attended. It was so weird being back in the cafeteria, sitting at the tables and listening to the teachers say and do the same things. Why do they think turning off the lights will make the children quiet. I have never understood this tactic. My niece Natalie basically broke my heart during lunch, but in a good way. She asked if I could be her show and share. How stinkin cute is that? I was honored! And saddened all at once. I will probably never be around during the school day to be her show and share. She said my job was cool because I get to go around to lots of places and then put it in the newspaper. I'm glad I can at least impress a 6 year old.
I got to spend some much-needed time with my family and good friend Kelli, while catering my first best friend's wedding. It's hard to believe it was so many years ago when we were making home-made play dough and dressing up like beauty queens. I am so glad I was able to go home for her big day. It was a beautiful wedding, and so Kristin, nothing seemed out of place for her.
I spent Saturday evening with the fam. Reading books and swinging with munchkins was just what the doctor ordered. I especially liked reading books with the six month old, and three other toddlers on my lap. After everyone left for the night I took some time for myself. I layed out on a yard swing just looking at the stars. It was a perfectly clear night with stars shining bright. A great reminder of who is in control and how small I am in comparison. I could use more weekends like my last. Tonight I will take though, as it is. Relaxing in my own living room, clearing my mind of the past weeks worries. Until next time, I'll be here, stuck somewhere between life and laundry.
Anyway, this week was quite the adventure. I held my first pampered chef show, my grand opening, on Tuesday night. It was pretty stressful and I did not do as well as I hoped. I fumbled over words and couldn't for the life of me remember what some of the tools were called. Needless to say, I will be practicing a little more before my next show.
Also this week, Cubbies. I was nicknamed Ms. Crazy by one of the kids. I guess he forgot my name or something. I'll take that though.
I feel like I've been running around like a chicken with my head cut off lately. I did however, enjoy an awesome weekend at home last week. I took my nieces lunch at school, the same elementary I attended. It was so weird being back in the cafeteria, sitting at the tables and listening to the teachers say and do the same things. Why do they think turning off the lights will make the children quiet. I have never understood this tactic. My niece Natalie basically broke my heart during lunch, but in a good way. She asked if I could be her show and share. How stinkin cute is that? I was honored! And saddened all at once. I will probably never be around during the school day to be her show and share. She said my job was cool because I get to go around to lots of places and then put it in the newspaper. I'm glad I can at least impress a 6 year old.
I got to spend some much-needed time with my family and good friend Kelli, while catering my first best friend's wedding. It's hard to believe it was so many years ago when we were making home-made play dough and dressing up like beauty queens. I am so glad I was able to go home for her big day. It was a beautiful wedding, and so Kristin, nothing seemed out of place for her.
I spent Saturday evening with the fam. Reading books and swinging with munchkins was just what the doctor ordered. I especially liked reading books with the six month old, and three other toddlers on my lap. After everyone left for the night I took some time for myself. I layed out on a yard swing just looking at the stars. It was a perfectly clear night with stars shining bright. A great reminder of who is in control and how small I am in comparison. I could use more weekends like my last. Tonight I will take though, as it is. Relaxing in my own living room, clearing my mind of the past weeks worries. Until next time, I'll be here, stuck somewhere between life and laundry.
Saturday, September 4, 2010
As the leaves begin to fall
It began to feel a lot like fall today. With just a couple of semi-chilly days a week or two ago, I noticed the neighbor's trees have already begun to turn colors. As I walk to work each morning it is impossible not to notice the growing number of leaves that twirl around my feet as they are carried in the brisk winds. Today was particularly alarming for me. Don't get me wrong, I love a cute cardigan and pair of leggings like most fashionable females. I am just not prepared for what comes next.
Call me a wimp, a southerner, whatever, I am NOT a big or even slight fan of the winter months. Last winter was quite the shock to my system when I was walking to work in negative temperatures and snow up to my thighs. Eek! Just the mere thought of having to get all bundled up just to walk outside and instantly feel my buggers freeze up. (sorry if this is gross, but its the truth and you know it!) I'm afraid the downward spiral into four months of temperatures and precipitation that can really only be described as ridiculous is well on its way.
Has anyone else noticed that everyone has an opinion on how bad winter will be? It cracks me up because I have probably heard from at least 10 people already mixed views on the severity of the next few months. Instead of trying to predict the weather, I like to use the "shock" test. I rarely ever check the weather before getting dressed and venturing out into the elements. Today I had a rude awakening as I walked outside in my open-toed sandals and light, short-sleeved dress shirt. The air hit me hard, but did I turn around and go back in for a sweater? You guessed it. I suffered. That is, until my lunch when I opted to grab a light sweater.
This evening I have sat in my apartment, after going to a 99 cent movie with a friend, and looked at the overwhelming mess that is my life. With a long weekend ahead, I have big plans to get everything sorted out and projects finished. Considering it is 3:30 a.m. as I write this, we'll see what happens. I have a tendency to stay up super late on Friday nights and sleep most of my Saturday away. A habit, I must admit, I enjoy thoroughly. On that note, I think my bed is calling my name. Until next time, I'm going to keep trucking on between life and laundry. Hmm...speaking of laundry, I think I'll add that to this weekend's list. Oh the exciting life I lead.
Call me a wimp, a southerner, whatever, I am NOT a big or even slight fan of the winter months. Last winter was quite the shock to my system when I was walking to work in negative temperatures and snow up to my thighs. Eek! Just the mere thought of having to get all bundled up just to walk outside and instantly feel my buggers freeze up. (sorry if this is gross, but its the truth and you know it!) I'm afraid the downward spiral into four months of temperatures and precipitation that can really only be described as ridiculous is well on its way.
Has anyone else noticed that everyone has an opinion on how bad winter will be? It cracks me up because I have probably heard from at least 10 people already mixed views on the severity of the next few months. Instead of trying to predict the weather, I like to use the "shock" test. I rarely ever check the weather before getting dressed and venturing out into the elements. Today I had a rude awakening as I walked outside in my open-toed sandals and light, short-sleeved dress shirt. The air hit me hard, but did I turn around and go back in for a sweater? You guessed it. I suffered. That is, until my lunch when I opted to grab a light sweater.
This evening I have sat in my apartment, after going to a 99 cent movie with a friend, and looked at the overwhelming mess that is my life. With a long weekend ahead, I have big plans to get everything sorted out and projects finished. Considering it is 3:30 a.m. as I write this, we'll see what happens. I have a tendency to stay up super late on Friday nights and sleep most of my Saturday away. A habit, I must admit, I enjoy thoroughly. On that note, I think my bed is calling my name. Until next time, I'm going to keep trucking on between life and laundry. Hmm...speaking of laundry, I think I'll add that to this weekend's list. Oh the exciting life I lead.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Chapter 1: Being Single
So I obviously haven't been doing so well on this whole journaling thing. I apologize. Most of my evenings the last two weeks have been filled with children and friends. Having worked at VBS with the first and second graders, I can truly say I was worn out beyond writing. Now that I've had a week to recover, I will hopefully catch you up.
I find myself in a place I've never imagined for my life. For those of you who have held a real conversation with me, you might have heard me say all this, but I can honestly say I never thought I would graduate from college and still be single. I don't know if my expectations of having a lifelong companion so early (or what is considered early in this day and age) were brought on by my upbringing in Missouri or simply by observing the relationships of those around me. Whatever the reason, I am now navigating this foreign chapter of singleness.
In elementary school we had a "career day" of sorts. We were supposed to dress up like our dream career. I'm pretty sure I was in the fourth grade, my dream, to be an ice skater. I loved Kristi Yamaguchi. She was my favorite figure skater. I took ice skating lessons for a few years, but stopped, admittedly because I didn't want that to be my Christmas present anymore. Essentially, I got greedy. Somewhere around sixth grade I decided I would be a journalist. I don't really know how the idea was put in my head, our family did not even receive the local newspaper. Sometime in high school my goals changed. It was understood that I would go to college, get a degree and work. But I never really thought of myself as a career girl. And I definitely didn't expect to have to do it for real...as in, I just thought I would get married, have babies, and have the choice of whether or not I would have to work full time. I guess I never expected to be alone. Midway through my senior year of college, I began to face the reality of graduating without the prospect of marriage and the reality of having to find a job. (I will be honest here, I had actually joked about going to college to get my MRS. degree.)
Now that I have been a college grad for almost two years, I am coming around to the idea that things did not work out the way I had always hoped. Still single, living hours away from my family, I sometimes find it very hard to like where I'm at. After going home way too many times this summer, I quickly began questioning my job and priorities. What I'm doing, although it is a job that actually fits my degree, doesn't always seem worth what I am missing back home. The bad thing, I don't really know if I would be happy at home either. I always assumed I would move away, but again, not alone.
Having several friends in this place that are in similar situations as me, single, no interested prospects for marriage, and not always enjoying their daily lives, I have been encouraged and challenged to embrace my current situation. I can't say I am doing a great job of this yet, but I'm working on it. I know that God has brought me to this stage for a reason. I do not feel led to singleness forever (or even now), I am a hopeless romantic who has a hard time guarding her heart, and I sincerely believe God put the desire in my heart to be married and have children. I long for those things. But until the day God brings that man into my life, or awakens feelings in me or him, whoever he may be, I know that He is building me up for His glory.
So until I move into the chapter of dating, engaged, marriage and mother, I will embrace this time in my life. I will (I am convincing myself as I go) take advantage of the time I have to read His word, spend time helping others, and continue to grow as a Christian in order to better fulfill my future duties. I have been told more than once by friends with husbands and children, that this time in my life is so important and not be in a hurry to get through it. I will try my dear friends, to heed your advice. Please hold me to it.
I find myself in a place I've never imagined for my life. For those of you who have held a real conversation with me, you might have heard me say all this, but I can honestly say I never thought I would graduate from college and still be single. I don't know if my expectations of having a lifelong companion so early (or what is considered early in this day and age) were brought on by my upbringing in Missouri or simply by observing the relationships of those around me. Whatever the reason, I am now navigating this foreign chapter of singleness.
In elementary school we had a "career day" of sorts. We were supposed to dress up like our dream career. I'm pretty sure I was in the fourth grade, my dream, to be an ice skater. I loved Kristi Yamaguchi. She was my favorite figure skater. I took ice skating lessons for a few years, but stopped, admittedly because I didn't want that to be my Christmas present anymore. Essentially, I got greedy. Somewhere around sixth grade I decided I would be a journalist. I don't really know how the idea was put in my head, our family did not even receive the local newspaper. Sometime in high school my goals changed. It was understood that I would go to college, get a degree and work. But I never really thought of myself as a career girl. And I definitely didn't expect to have to do it for real...as in, I just thought I would get married, have babies, and have the choice of whether or not I would have to work full time. I guess I never expected to be alone. Midway through my senior year of college, I began to face the reality of graduating without the prospect of marriage and the reality of having to find a job. (I will be honest here, I had actually joked about going to college to get my MRS. degree.)
Now that I have been a college grad for almost two years, I am coming around to the idea that things did not work out the way I had always hoped. Still single, living hours away from my family, I sometimes find it very hard to like where I'm at. After going home way too many times this summer, I quickly began questioning my job and priorities. What I'm doing, although it is a job that actually fits my degree, doesn't always seem worth what I am missing back home. The bad thing, I don't really know if I would be happy at home either. I always assumed I would move away, but again, not alone.
Having several friends in this place that are in similar situations as me, single, no interested prospects for marriage, and not always enjoying their daily lives, I have been encouraged and challenged to embrace my current situation. I can't say I am doing a great job of this yet, but I'm working on it. I know that God has brought me to this stage for a reason. I do not feel led to singleness forever (or even now), I am a hopeless romantic who has a hard time guarding her heart, and I sincerely believe God put the desire in my heart to be married and have children. I long for those things. But until the day God brings that man into my life, or awakens feelings in me or him, whoever he may be, I know that He is building me up for His glory.
So until I move into the chapter of dating, engaged, marriage and mother, I will embrace this time in my life. I will (I am convincing myself as I go) take advantage of the time I have to read His word, spend time helping others, and continue to grow as a Christian in order to better fulfill my future duties. I have been told more than once by friends with husbands and children, that this time in my life is so important and not be in a hurry to get through it. I will try my dear friends, to heed your advice. Please hold me to it.
Saturday, August 7, 2010
First love
For as long as I can remember I have journaled. I don't think I have ever actually filled an entire notebook, but I have filled countless pages of countless books with my ramblings of the everyday mundane. Having started writing for a living, I find myself journaling less and less. In fact, in the almost 10 months in this new place, I have written less times than I have toes. A tragedy, to say the least. You see, I have a horrible memory.
When it comes to most things, I remember them simply because I have heard others tell the story. Sometimes I wonder if I was even there, or if I have fashioned my siblings memories into becoming my own. Journaling has in a sense, given me a snapshot into my past. Being a young-twenty something, you wouldn't think it hard to recall first crushes and school field trips. I have so often sat down in the middle of my bedroom floor and laughed through my tween years. Usually the process starts from some sort of cleaning, re-organizing or packing. I'm sure others can relate, you set out to accomplish something and end up reading or looking through old photo albums.
The last 10 months, even the last year and a half, have been so crucial in my life. Graduating college, going through the job-searching process, starting that first real job in my field, moving into my very own place, basically starting my life as I know it, and I have kept track of so little.
This is my attempt to record my fears, hopes, dreams, emotions and insight, as they happen. If for no one else but myself, I will think of this as my journal. I am returning to my first love, writing, for fun. So hold on tight....as I figure out what to do between life and laundry.
When it comes to most things, I remember them simply because I have heard others tell the story. Sometimes I wonder if I was even there, or if I have fashioned my siblings memories into becoming my own. Journaling has in a sense, given me a snapshot into my past. Being a young-twenty something, you wouldn't think it hard to recall first crushes and school field trips. I have so often sat down in the middle of my bedroom floor and laughed through my tween years. Usually the process starts from some sort of cleaning, re-organizing or packing. I'm sure others can relate, you set out to accomplish something and end up reading or looking through old photo albums.
The last 10 months, even the last year and a half, have been so crucial in my life. Graduating college, going through the job-searching process, starting that first real job in my field, moving into my very own place, basically starting my life as I know it, and I have kept track of so little.
This is my attempt to record my fears, hopes, dreams, emotions and insight, as they happen. If for no one else but myself, I will think of this as my journal. I am returning to my first love, writing, for fun. So hold on tight....as I figure out what to do between life and laundry.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)